Redrawn Cecil

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Traditional Art // Pencil Sketch
2010 vs 2013 – versions. My girl character, Cecil.
A little bit of improvement since then too. Drawn in pencil
I’m planning to redraw her for a 2016 version, but I wanted to show her old ones first.



Cat Borg

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I like how the hair, ears, and tail came out, along with the face..I tried lol
It was a fun experiment for a digital doll. I’ve never tried such a complex design before, let alone in pixels.
repost from my old account

Character belongs to Shixam
Original design/reference is here: Kitty Cat-borg!

Base by: FionaCreates
base is here: The Fairy Base

*EDIT: fixed the colors and shading of the wings. Cropped out the color that went outside the lines near the leg. Also fixed the right shoulder, by shading it back in and adding it to be visible with the wings behind. Also removed last of background.

To Remain

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This is no confusion. To remain is to live on, despite it all.It’s not so simple a choice to decide, though. To choose life over suicide. To anyone else who makes the true choice, like I have, you will understand this better then the rest. What it means to continue our efforts, when you feel utterly at a loss sometimes to do more then survive it.


The night is bitter cold. People could hear me screaming, but would they care? Would they understand, if I tried to tell them? I have been surrounded by people for much of life, yet I feel out of touch and disconnected with them. Even if I want to connect, I don’t know how. I give trust freely, and yet, it all feels like a game, a wish, and I don’t have the rules or the rights to even overcome the struggles I face.

I know I’m not the only one alone on this earth. I am not unrealistic and I do ask for help help sometimes. Regardless of being human, how do you find it in yourself to forgive the ones who’ve brought this pain over time? Is this my fate, my destiny to bear it? These bruises? These old scars that other people ripped into my skin and then they healed later? The hunger pains of days without food, and the things I have seen that I cannot remove as they burned into my memories?

Hey, how do learn to talk about the difficult times, if when you bring them up, other people recoil in horror of what you’ve either been through or lived along side? Such, as seeing a man burning alive in a car wreck as a young child? How do you stop yourself from being afraid to scream simply because you fear those images returning to your night mares? How do you tell anyone you don’t hurt self, because you’ve seen others stabbed, shot at, or cut open in front of you?

How can I be proud to survive for my life, at the cost of such things? People tell me their proud I’ve lived this long, but I think they have no idea. To watch a man convulsing on the ground as he  takes his last breath, or why I feel so uncomfortable at funerals. It’s not the feeling of loss that hits me worse then, nor of the dead body so close by. I don’t want to be around the other person in pain when I do not forgive the pain I am going through. Why should I want to share in your grief, when that person dead is free and I remain here, trapped with you?

My soul speaks quietly, calling me to fight such thoughts, and so I do.

It’s not about hope, or believe in that you, as people, can change. You’ve proven me wrong so many times, I have only learned to forgive you to give myself a release from feeling like there’s anything I could do to stop you. If you want to hurt me, you can and will. My body’s gone through a lot, but I am neither confused nor stupid. I am biding my time.

There will be a day when you won’t be able to hurt me anymore.

I survive to see that day when it comes.